god complex

Have you ever been so tired of yourself? Your issues, your imperfections? What is worse is being so tired of them but knowing you probably won't even try and change. I feel that way today. I am tired of the fact that I act and sometime even think I am God. Now I don't normally realize I am thinking it but it comes out in little things in life. For example my husband and I are planning a "Himalayan adventure." We will be traveling to at least two countries with an attempt to see if we would like to work with these people long term. I have been so excited planning this trip thinking about seeing new places, trying new foods, and just getting out of my Salem world for awhile. But then I realized I have no idea what I am doing. I have no idea what cultural norms I need to know, I don't know any language, I don't even know what they people need, well at least what their "felt needs" are. Feeling inadequate is a scary feeling but even that frustrates me because I AM INADEQUATE. I don't mean to demean myself it just is fact, I AM NOT GOD. I am limited, finite, and mortal. Why do we work so hard to not need a God, to not need help, to not need salvation? Because no matter how hard will try it will not work. We are broken, we are lost and we are without hope.